'He Refused because...'
'He Refused because...'
His heart couldn't help but find hope.
He had been thinking a lot about this.
There was something inside his heart that said constantly that she only agreed to date Cheng Yang because she knew about this engagement thing.
Otherwise, she would have not refused him.
"Lanlan…"
He spoke in almost a pleading voice.
"Please tell me."
Mo Roulan could feel her heart roaring inside her chest. She was tongue-tied. What should she say?
A part of her heart knew that it was the truth.
The day she got to know about his engagement, she also got to know how much he still affected her. She wanted to move on so she decided to see if dating Cheng Yang would help her or not.
The truth hurt her because she again realized how selfish and stupid she had been.
She might have already said to Cheng Yang that they were just checking if it will work out or not, he had genuine feelings for her.
Her rejection would hurt her a lot after these beautiful days they had spent together.
The realization made Mo Roulan hate herself, as well as the man who was holding her at this moment. Resentment filled her heart.
It was all because of him.
Why did he control her decisions so much without even knowing!
She suddenly pushed him away with all the force she had. He Jian was shocked.
He looked at her as she breathed heavily and then looking into his eyes, she said in a very polite tone.
"No, Mr. He. I am dating Cheng Yang because I like him. He is a good guy. My family also likes him."
Mo Roulan didn't know how each and every word of her stabbed He Jian's heart like a knife.
His eyes were emotionless as he looked at her and then a moment later, nodded his head stiffly.
"I see…"
He whispered more likely to himself.
All his hopes vanished and his heart was suddenly filled with nothing but suffocation.
He didn't even look into her eyes anymore and turned to look at the front. His hands held the railing. The bulging veins on his hand showed how angry he was feeling but his face didn't show anything.
Mo Roulan looked at him silently.
'I see…'
That's what he had to say.
But then, what did she want him to say.
She should have turned around and gone inside her room.
However, she didn't know why she also turned to the other side and held the railing while looking at the sky. She didn't know what she was doing but her heart knew.
She was also seeking the answer to her own question.
They stood there silently for a long time.
Not a single word was shared until He Jian suddenly spoke in a quite emotionless voice without even looking at her.
"You should sleep."
Mo Roulan turned her head to look at him.
She didn't say anything in response as she looked at him silently. A few moments passed and suddenly the words slipped out of her mouth.
"Why did you not get engaged with her?"
He Jian smiled suddenly…at her question. But, this smile was not humorous at all. It had nothing but pain and sadness.
He turned his head to look at her and Mo Roulan almost gasped when she looked into his eyes which were filled with so many emotions.
She wondered if that was the pain she saw in them.
Those blue eyes…she had never seen him like this. Unconsciously, she felt her heart aching on seeing him like this.
"Do I still need to answer this question, Lanlan?"
She heard him say and she frowned in confusion.
He Jian's closed his eyes when he saw her expression. When he opened them again, his eyes were filled with gentleness.
"How can I wear the ring in my hand from someone else when the girl I like is you!"
"How can I let her wear the ring from my hand when the girl I want to spend my whole life with …is you, Lanlan!"
Mo Roulan's lips were parted and she breathed through her mouth suddenly feeling that the air she was inhaling was not enough.
"You didn't do that because of this…"
She whispered to herself while He Jian looked at her in confusion wondering if she didn't really believe him.
He had wanted to ask her the same when Mo Roulan turned around and left the balcony even before he could stop her.
.
.
.
Inside the room, Mo Roulan locked the door of the balcony with trembling hands and then walked to the bed.
Her eyes were still filled with shock and He Jian's words rang in her ears repeatedly.
She sat down on the bed and whispered to herself.
"Don't believe him, Roulan…don't!"
How could he like her…it was not possible at all!
Everything was continuing just like her past life …unless she had intervened.
Her mother was sick but because the surgery was done at the time, she saved her mother. Zhu family appeared just like they had in her past life. Mo Chen was almost taken away from her. If she had not intervened, she was sure that her brother would have gone away from her just like it had happened her past life.
However, she never intervened between He Jian and Shen Yiling.
She never tried to.
So between them, everything should have been same as her past life.
And hence, He Jian should not like her.
Mo Roulan's mind was playing games with her. A part of her mind said that it could be true and another said it was not.
But then she wondered even if it was true, what will she do?
She didn't know the answer.
Fed up with her own mind and heart, Mo Roulan suddenly left her room and went to her mother's room.
She opened the door slowly and stepped inside the room.
She could see her mother sleeping on the bed.
Mo Roulan's lips quivered as her emotions suddenly found their way.
She closed the door gently and walked to the bed. Carefully, she laid down beside her mother without making any sound.
Her hand went to hold her mother's hand and she suddenly felt very calm.
Fortunately, her mother didn't wake up when she got closer and hugged her waist gently.
Mo Roulan closed her eyes feeling peaceful.
She had never felt so thankful to whoever gave her the chance to live again! The thing she liked most about this life was her mother and brother were with her.
They were her support, her strength.
It didn't matter what was going on with anyone else or in any other part of her life!
As long as they were with her, she would definitely find some way to come out of it.
In her mother's embrace, Mo Roulan soon fell into a deep slumber.
.
.
.
Lin Qianru was surprised when she saw Mo Roulan sleeping beside her the next morning. She smiled as she carefully removed Mo Roulan's arm from her stomach.
Surprisingly, Mo Roulan didn't wake up.
She looked at her daughter's face with concern.
Last night, she didn't look good, and now seeing her sleeping in her room only made her guess sure that something was wrong.
Otherwise, Mo Roulan would not have been sleeping here.
Lin Qianru sighed as she got down from the bed. She decided to let Mo Roulan sleep for some more time and then ask her later what was wrong.
However, when she stepped out of the bathroom after having a bath, she found that the bed was empty.
Mo Roulan had already left.
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Almost an hour later, the three members of Mo family were having breakfast in the dining room.
Mo Chen and Lin Qianru were frequently glancing toward Mo Roulan who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts.
Today, she didn't even wish 'good morning' to anyone and didn't ruffle Mo Chen's air like she usually did.
It was Lin Qianru who broke the silence inside the room.
"Jian is not coming to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner here. Is everything alright, Roulan?"
Mo Roulan raised her head to look at her mother and it took her a moment to answer her mother's question.
"Mr. He is busy, Mom."
"Oh…"
Lin Qianru whispered as she looked at Mo Roulan wondering what was wrong with her and why does she look so lost.
She didn't end the conversation here and asked her
"What about the engagement party yesternight? Did it go well, Roulan?"
If something had happened, then it must have happened there. She thought as she waited for Mo Roulan to answer the question.
While Mo Roulan again lowered her head, she just rotated the spoon in her plate and whispered blankly
"It didn't happen. He refused to get engaged with the girl."
Mo Chen immediately raised his head to look at his sister when he heard while Lin Qianru looked utterly confused.