The Scared Cheng Yang
The Scared Cheng Yang
He felt very full inside his heart.
He no longer could stop himself from leaning down to claim them.
However, before his lips could touch hers, he felt a push on his chest and then the sweet scent that was surrounding him vanished as if it had always been his illusion.
He looked at Mo Roulan with a shocked face.
She was breathing heavily and looking at him with a confused and dazed expression on her face. There was nothing but silence between them as they looked at each other as if they were silently trying to understand something.
It was after a long time that both of gathered their courage and spoke
"Sorry…"
But at the same time.
Mo Roulan looked away from Cheng Yang.
She was feeling suffocation. Why was he saying sorry? She wondered silently. It was she who deserved to apologize. She won't mind even if he would refuse to forgive her and never see her face again.
Because at this moment, she finally realized how wrong of a decision she had taken by dating Cheng Yang.
She couldn't do it.
The feeling she had when he was trying to kiss her…it was just suffocation and nothing else. All she had wanted to was push him away and somewhere she could feel that it won't change …at least in the near future.
The past love of her life had destroyed her to the point that she couldn't let any other man touch her even though she knew how genuine Cheng Yang's feelings were for her.
"Sorry, Roulan."
Mo Roulan came out of her trance when she heard Cheng Yang. She almost flinched when she felt Cheng Yang holding her hand but she was thankful that she didn't. It would have hurt him to a great extent she thought as she saw remorse and guilt in his eyes. It only increased the same inside her heart.
She was the worst person in his life perhaps. How could she do it to him!
Mo Roulan wanted to cry when Cheng Yang continued
"I was being too fast. I was not considerate. I am very sorry."
He had been nothing but considerate every time until now. She had wanted to say.
It was normal for him to expect such a thing from her. The problem didn't lie in him. The problem lay in her.
"Cheng Yang, I am sorry."
She whispered as she tried to free her hand from his.
"I am sorry…I can't…"
Continue…
She had wanted to say but before she could complete her words, Cheng Yang interrupted her and spoke firmly.
"No…"
Mo Roulan raised her head to look at him sensing the abruptness of his tone. When she saw his eyes, her heart sank inside her chest.
What she saw was fear.
That fear scared her.
Because only now she realize the consequences of her actions. He already knew what she wanted to say.
He knew but he didn't want her to finish it.
Her lips quivered as she tried her best not to cry. She didn't want to cry. She didn't deserve to express her grief when she had given him in exchange so much.
How foolish she had been!
She gave him the hope and now he was clinging to that hope too much.
She felt her chest going heavy as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Cheng Yang…we…"
However, this time again, Cheng Yang didn't let her complete her words. He hugged her in his arms tightly.
"I will be careful in the future. You can have as much time as you want, Roulan. I am very sorry."
Mo Roulan felt as if someone was gripping her heart as she heard Cheng Yang's each and every word. The suffocation inside her chest increased.
He didn't deserve this.
He deserved so much better than her…someone who could love him more than he has ever loved someone.
She felt helpless as she hugged him back silently trying to comfort him because that was the only thing she could do at that moment.
She blinked the tears in her eyes when she felt him relaxing under her touch.
'Why did I not find you before him?'
Mo Roulan wondered suddenly …never expecting that the 'him' she was thinking about would appear in front of her eyes so soon.
As she rested her head on Cheng Yang's shoulders with her arms around his waist she raised her eyes and her breath stuck in her throat and her eyes found a pair of blue eyes staring back at her coldly.
They didn't have any emotions at the same time she felt as if a storm was raging behind those hidden emotions.
'What was he doing here?'
She wondered and then thought bitterly that he could be here to accompany Shen Yiling or perhaps to find her.
But why was he looking at her like that? And why was she feeling guilty…guilty enough to remove her arms around Cheng Yang's waist but Cheng Yang's hold kept her in his embrace. She didn't have the courage to push him away again.
Mo Roulan inhaled sharply when He Jian turned around to leave.
What kind of a mess today had become?
It had been so good. She had thought that she would be fine.
She had thought that dating Cheng Yang was also a good decision but everything was messed up.
Nothing was going on right.
Cheng Yang finally pulled away. As he set her hair right, she couldn't help but look at him.
His eyes no longer had fear but she had already seen enough.
'I am so sorry, Cheng Yang.'
She whispered silently inside her heart though she knew that she would never be able to forgive herself for hurting such a pure heart.