"Why Can't I Love You"
"Why Can't I Love You"
She felt He Jian's firm grip on her hand and then the determination in his voice. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she knew that there was really no escape now.
She raised her blank eyes to look at him and asked in confusion.
"What do you want to talk about?"
On the other hand, He Jian was equally startled and confused by Mo Roulan's question. Could she not know what he wanted to talk about after this morning?
However, he didn't even know that Mo Roulan never believed his words.
Those three words that she heard under the falling cherry blossoms …were still an illusion for her.
Because He Jian saying these words to her could never be a reality.
That was what Mo Roulan thought.
He Jian sighed patiently.
He was trying to understand Mo Roulan. She was very young and all this must be very new to her. But it was new for him as well.
He was scared as well. Since that night when Shen Weisheng had told him that it could also be possible that Mo Roulan might not even accept her feelings, He Jian had been scared since then.
He took a deep breath suppressing his fears.
"Lanlan…"
There was a different kind of nervousness in the voice of always cold and indifferent man but Mo Roulan who was lost in her own thought could never hear it.
She only looked at He Jian blankly as she felt his grip on her arms getting tighter.
And then she heard those words that still made her heart race.
"Lanlan, I love you."
He Jian looked at Mo Roulan with expectant eyes when he finished.
But his eyes dimmed when Mo Roulan stepped away from him the next moment and suddenly covered her ears.
He froze completely.
It took him a moment to step forward and hold Mo Roulan.
"Lanlan…I know that it is too sudden…"
He Jian tried to make Mo Roulan understand as he tried to remove her hands from her ears.
"But I will wait for you to understand my feelings. Everything will be the same as before."
He tried to assure Mo Roulan. However, all his words stopped escaping his mouth when he heard Mo Roulan's murmurs.
"It is just my illusion…just an illusion or some kind of dream…you are so stupid for having such an illusion…Roulan…"
It was very low. Perhaps He Jian would have never heard it if he had not been standing by Mo Roulan's side.
Mo Roulan;s eyes were tightly closed and she was covering her ears with her hands completely as if she was trying to save herself from something.
He didn't know why he felt as if someone was pinching his heart mercilessly when he saw Mo Roulan like this.
"Lanlan…"
Even his voice came out a slightly hoarse when he finally removed her hands from her ears.
He hugged her tightly in his arms. With his one hand around her waist, he stroked her hair gently as he told her again.
"Lanlan, I love you. It is not some kind of illusion."
However, Mo Roulan's head stayed lowered.
Helpless, He Jian finally did the only thing that came to his mind.
He suddenly pinched Mo Roulan's chin lightly and sealed her lips with her.
His eyes closed unconsciously feeling the soft touch under his cold lips. He licked them lightly. As he did so, he opened his blue eyes to look at the person in his arms.
Her black-brown eyes were now open and she was looking at him without blinking her eyes.
He Jian's lips hovered over her, as he whispered in a slightly hoarse and deep voice.
"Do you still think that it was just a dream or illusion?"
Mo Roulan didn't say anything.
Perhaps she was too shocked and scared to accept the reality. He Jian didn't seem to care for this.
He sealed their lips again and kissed her deeply this time.
His tongue gently invaded her mouth and his thumb carresed her soft cheeks.
Mo Roulan gasped unconsciously on feeling the storage and new feeling. Her eyes stayed on He Jian's face and slowly and slowly horror filled them.
He Jian was kissing her …just like last night.
When she finally blinked, a tear slid out of her eyes.
What was going on!
She couldn't fathom anything. After all, it was never supposed to go like this.
When the kiss ended, Mo Roulan breathing heavily but He Jian looked the same. He licked his lips slightly as he rested his forehead on Mo Roulan's forehead.
His thumb caressed Mo Roulan's thumb as he said again
"Lanlan, I love you so much."
He Jian's could feel the sweetness of the said words inside his chest. He felt as if he would never get tired of saying this.
Mo Roulan could feel a part of her heart slowly cowering inside her chest when she heard those words.
"How…why?"
The words unconsciously escaped her lips as her eyes started to fill with new and fresh tears.
He Jian smiled a little when he heard the question. His eyes were closed as he indulge himself in the sweet scent of the girl he loved.
"That…I also wish to know. I also wish to know how you made me like this." So that I can do the same to you…so that I can make you love me the same way I love you
The words only stayed inside his heart because he stiffened when he suddenly felt something wet dropping on the back of his hand.
He opened his eyes abruptly.
"Lanlan…"
He Jian's eyes were filled with distress when he saw that Mo Roulan's face was full of tears.
"Why are you crying? Did I…"
Did he say something wrong?
However, Mo Roulan's next words didn't let him finish his words.
"You can't love me."
He Jian's face went cold and he asked coldly.
"Why can't I?"
In response, however, Mo Roulan only shook her head lightly as more tears spilled out from her eyes and whispered softly.
"You just can't."